5 Sheep...with the Italians.

   We got to do a fun mission to Bala Morghab, with some Italians. It turns out that the area around Bala Morghab has quite a few bad guys, so we have to have gunship support to fly up there. In this case, since we're on an Italian and Spanish base, that means the gunships are Mangusta gunships, made by Augusta. They don't have very many so we have to wait occasionally for the Mangustas to be available. This time, the Italians had a Chinook helicopter that need to go up there too. So it was a 5 ship (or sheep, depending on your accent)...

We had 1000 kg's of ammo, 250 kg's of money, 500kg's of watermelons, 500 kg's of cakes, and some colonel and assorted passengers. We planned our loading of our two helicopters based on weight, one of them has 1000 kg of armor on it so we have to split up the weight differently, since one is so much heavier. 

So in typical Afghan style...after we planned for a few hours, they totally blew off the plan and just started loading the birds...with complete disregard for the carefully laid out plan. Among our assorted passengers was a little boy and his grandfather. The little guy was from Bala Morghab and had been flown down to Herat for some medical reason...the Spanish hospital fixed him up so we were taking him home. This is crazy eyes and the little dude.

We loaded up melons and the money and taxied out to pick up our wingmen. Since the Afghans work from about 9:00 to 11:00 ...that's A.M to A.M., yes, two whole hours, our Afghan crew members did not attend the briefing with the Italians. The briefing where they told us they altitudes and airspeeds they were going to fly. We would be in the middle, with the Chinook out front and the Mangustas covering us from the back of the formation. It was awesome...English, Italian, Dari and some horribly broken Spanglish from the Spanish tower controller. What could possibly go wrong? Maybe the Italian Chinook could drag us around at 50 feet and about 50 knots....right next to the LZ (landing zone) where the bad guys are?...just the opposite of what he briefed? Nah....they wouldn't do that right? Then leaving the LZ...flying super slow away from the bad guys? Surely....they wouldn't do that? that'd be like giving them extra time to shoot at you!...um, okay, they did all that. It was awesome, Thank you! May I have another?!

The dust cloud blown up by the Chinook, call sign 'Elephant', going into the FOB

The Elephant (pronounced with an accent...'Ela FONT'...taking off, the other Mi-17 ready to follow.

There were hay bales between us and our wingman, and all around us....it dawned on me about 2 minutes after we'd landed and been sitting there on the ground...what a perfect place for 'Charlie' to be hiding! And pop out and start shooting! Fortunately, there are no VC over here in the 'Stan.

Just another observation...how come we leave the land of Army green camouflage back in the states and put on desert camo and flight suits...but we gave the Afghans the woodland green stuff? I haven't figured that out yet....or where they came up with the 30 minutes that makes them 10 hours 30 minutes ahead of New Mexico?

We had to land in a place called Qa'al-E Now (say 'call Eee Now') for gas, the Mangustas can't go very far on a tank of gas. We stopped on the way to Bala Morghab and the way back...of course on the way back, we had to stop and have lunch too. My favorite moment was watching the Italian crew chief smoking inside the Chinook while it was getting refueled...seemed to fit the rest of the clown show I'd seen.

Graydon and Ahktar share a special moment in the flower garden...the birds were chirping, the sun was out, perfect company, a great time to hold hands!

We landed just after this guy...it's kind of a sketchy neighborhood. You have be careful where you park. Before you know it, your jet is on blocks, missin' an engine and nose landing gear. The runway is a road when not in use by landing or take off traffic. Afghans ride their mopeds up and down it like it's the Bonneville Salt Flats, pinned in 5th on their little Caspien 150's (motorcycles) doing at least 43 miles an hour.

So all in all...it was a good time. The Italian Chinook driver and crew were a little suspect, even the Afghans could tell. But at least landing back home wasn't a total trainwreck, the Spanglish Tower controller kept telling us to report a 20 mile final...you know, tell him when we're 20 miles out for landing, after I'd already told him we were 10 miles out for landing. Even while holding at 100' in a left hand turn off the east side of the runway...at 1/4 of mile, almost out of gas, he told me to report a 20 mile final again. It was awesome...

The BIG mish!

A few days ago we got to fly a really important mission with the Afghan National Army Air Corp. The US Ambassador to Afghanistan, his wife, Afghanistan's Minister of the Interior, the Provincial Governor of Herat and some other important people...and the press (they being the opposite of important). 

The Afghan National Border Patrol was opening a new border crossing facility and the US Embassy wanted to high light the ANAAC's success and the successes of the American Mentor aircrews.

So there we were, 3 days out and some people call us and say get ready to do this big mission...super secret passengers. And then they called and said never mind, then someone else called and said 'plan for this big mission...but it's a secret'. Then they said never mind. Then some other people called and asked if we'd heard about the secret mission coming our way...and then they said never mind It was awesome.

Less than 24 hours out...we got the 'for sure' call.

So we went. In a three ship, 2 ANAAC and one Columbian registered Mi-8 contracted by the Army Corp of Engineers. We planned, briefed and flew it...

This me and our Flight Engineer, he's happy now that I've promised to not touch any switches in his helicopter...

Us and the Columbians

We made it, all three on time and to the right location! The parking lot of the new border crossing facility. Me and the pilot. He's a good guy...but always serious looking. So I tell him to smile, at least 17 times a day. That makes him smile.

Mai Tai and our interpreter. We can't show his face. These guys put themselves and their families at considerable risk helping the Americans. They are brave men and crucial to our success in Afghanistan.

This is pretty painted water tower was a few hundred meters to our west...it's painted like a flag.

Oh yeah, that flag...it's the Iranian flag.

So we flew a little too close to their water tower...and threw a ham out the window. It caused an international incident. Please send us food...and beer.

I didn't do it...crazy eyes here, he did it.

Okay, just kidding...we were goofing around in the new Border Crossing building. They had jail cells for smugglers. We took turns locking each other up.  I think the Ambassador assumed he had flown up with a professional crew. But hey! At least we landed on the right side of the border!

Our guys, the aircrews...we're pretty proud of them. It was a great day for the Afghan Air Corp.

This is Crazy Eyes checking out some of Gucci modifications the Columbians made to their Mi-8. We're going to use some their ideas...they set up there bird "The Black Pearl" really nice.

Pictures from the flight home.

The coolest airplane I've seen in Afghanistan. This is not your grandpa's DC-3. It's been pretty pimped out! Pratt & Whitney PT-6 turbo props, glass cockpit, flares and IR dectors, FLIR and smooth paint job!

Action shots...

Here are some shots from flying in western Afghanistan.

These are some shots, low level over between Herat and Farah.

Well, one is from Gardez. One of these pictures shows the air conditioning system...that little rubber fan on the dash. I think it's rubber so we don't hurt ourselves...like sticking a finger in there just to see what happens. This particular cockpit even had switches in english! Along with some other really cool features...like the gun sight for rockets (that we don't have) and a bombing computer and bomb sight. Um....bombs off of a helicopter? And tan  velour seat cushions...with a nice floral pattern stitched in them.

This is a nice juxtaposition ... an Afghan FE (that's a flight engineer) and our American FE. The US Air Force only sent us one FE. He is just a tiny bit overworked but I think he's handling it okay...just look at him. The icy stare of a stone cold killer. It's clear that keeping us (the pilots) out of trouble hasn't had any ill effect  on his nerves. He's perfectly fine.

Rhamatula in the picture above...and Mai Tai below. 

Mai Tai has been cleaning his pistol...a lot lately. I think it's good that he's being so thorough. He talks to himself while he's cleaning. It doesn't make sense so I don't listen to him. 

This pictures reminds me of something....but I can't quite put my finger on it....

Hurray for Herat!

After 3 and a half weeks of living in the corner of the transient shipping container, I finally made it to Herat. The big man left about 3 days earlier for Khandahar...he was pretty sure he'd lose about 27 pounds in the first 27 hours and 13 seconds in that somewhat warmer climate. Some of us are blessed with more subcutaneous insulation that other folks...and we tend to perspire a little more in these warmer climes. 

So they loaded me on a Afghan An-32, a left over Russian transport, with all my junk and a bunch of Afghans going on....vacation? It made a lot of scary noises but we landed in one piece and at the right place! 

 The best part of arriving at the right time and place was the two guys that told me to hurry up, we were leaving on a convoy. WHAAAT?!?! So much for my goal of NO as in zero convoys in Afghanistan! But at least it was on one of these monsters.

Owned by the USN and driven by Indiana National Guard. It was only a seven and half minute drive anyway.

I showed up in the morning, stayed up until 11:30 planning for a last minute flight the next day. We got up at 3:30 in the morning to help the Afghans load ammo on the helicopters we were flying down to Farah in support of Afghan troops. The sun came up as we were loading...

This is the one we drove...a little newer, had kevlar floor mats and some armor around the cockpit, and a gunsight for rockets, when do we get those?!?!

It was really hot so I ditched my helmet for this smooth headset...well I left my helmet in Kabul because I'm a moron...just kidding, I traded my helmet to an Afghan for 3 chickens, a camel and nice David Clark headset. But I'm really just joking, I borrowed an Afghan helmet, with no chin strap, a mike that I'm really not sure where it had been and it was about two sizes two small, but we made it work! And the dent in my forehead will pop out eventually. 

The view from the rear view mirror